Et tu etiquette

Lets face it; man is a socially inept creature.

Some even more than others.

Only under the influence of a social lubricant like beer can a man get the courage to speak his mind and even then he has only a 30% chance of success, depending on whether the listener is also a bit tipsy.

Unfortunately for us poor folk who don’t drink, social etiquette is more baffling than Einstein and Newton’s theories put together.

For example, what are the rules to flirting with a girl? At what point do you stop from being a friendly stranger to the perverted creep. Is there a way to handle a woman’s rejection? And if there is, is it successful for both you and the offended party?

Damn, the last time I was dining with my friends, a friends mother spotted me and came across to our table to say hello. My response was a little less than a hello, hell to be exact.

What do I do now? Do I introduce my friends to her or just ignore them for the time being. Should I ask her to sit and dine with us when I very well knew she already had her meal?

It’s the lack of etiquette that makes me want to get a girlfriend. At least then I can shove her in front like a shield and have her tactfully answer the social questions.
Come to think of it, that’s why men get wives. A wife is like the perfect PRO for a socially irresponsible brat movie star, and every man can get one.

You don’t show up at a party and she makes the excuses on your behalf. You don’t want to go to office and she can call in sick for you.

I definitely need one of those. Unfortunately, the other things are not so much important.

Would a PRO do some freelance for me. I think this a field that lies unexplored and needs a looking into.

What say?