The making of My name is Khan (the true story)

Shahrukh Khan to Karan Johar: Hey, let's make a commercial film in the guise of a social message
Karan Johar: Yeah, in fact, lets throw in some nice autistic syndrome, look what it did for Darsheel Safary in Tare Zameen par.
Shahrukh: You're right. And before we release the film I'll tie up with every brand for PR AND i'll piss of Shiv Sena that'll lead to publicity while turning the people into stupid fools who'll buy tickets just to show us support
(Laughter all around)
Karan Johar: Cool, we'll call it My name is Khan after you but we'll tell the public, its about the common muslim
Shahrukh: Wow! That would increase our profits by 10% and my ego by about a 150%

Everybody Jerks (An R.E.M. Parody)

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this shag, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody moans and everybody jerks, sometimes

Sometimes everything excites. Now it's time to jerk along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this shag, well hang on

'Cause everybody jerks. Take comfort in your shlong
Everybody Jerks. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this gratyfying, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this shag to hang on

Well, everybody jerks sometimes,
Everybody moans. And everybody shags sometimes
And everybody jerks sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody jerks. You are not alone

My hypoglycemic rant

HATE, DEPLORE, DESPISE and any other synonym that you can think of is perfectly apt for these reality/talent shows. And what peeves me off to no end is the fact that somehow they have managed to rope in children. For God’s sake, children!

I can only think back to those beautiful endless summers of my youth spent dabbling in mediocrity. Could there be anything better. The rat race is, after all, only full of rats and I’d rather be a cockroach. At least that way I get to survive the nuclear holocaust and have the highest chances of making it to Noah’s Ark’s kitchen.

Coming back to the topic of children and reality shows, so far we’ve been able to make a talented lot of people who will, thanks to living in the fast lane grow up to be suited, booted, rich, entrepreneurial, pre-mature ejaculators.

And why, oh lord, why?!

One must ask oneself this question and often, especially to others since the word why, I believe has the greatest talent amongst all the other W’s to piss one off.

But back to the why in this context. Perhaps the failure of the parents to make a success out of themselves? Of course, there could be so many answers. But I’d rather not be bothered by them. After all, questions are better than answers, after all, if you remember, you are tested in academia via questions; ergo questions should be held in esteem rather than answers.

Do you realize that we all loathe mediocrity, dare I say, we are afraid of it. Nobody wants to be labeled as mediocre or even average but isn’t that an irony in terms. Even if you’re an achiever, highly talented and the likes, and so is everyone else, you find that after all that hard work, you’re still mediocre, average, normal and ordinary even.

In the end, we are only creating are sheep in wolf’s clothing.

Oh, what a brave new world, that has such creatures in it...