Everybody Jerks (An R.E.M. Parody)

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this shag, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody moans and everybody jerks, sometimes

Sometimes everything excites. Now it's time to jerk along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this shag, well hang on

'Cause everybody jerks. Take comfort in your shlong
Everybody Jerks. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this gratyfying, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this shag to hang on

Well, everybody jerks sometimes,
Everybody moans. And everybody shags sometimes
And everybody jerks sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody jerks. You are not alone