It's a funny life

If you’ve ever caught just for laugh on Zee café, you’d definitely think that it’s great to be a stand-up comedian.
I thought so too and tried my hand at it but failed. I’m a much better sit-down comedian.

Life can be quite funny at times, especially when it tricks you with strange absurd and embarrassment causing diseases.
Have you ever had such a disease? Nope?! Too bad!

Well, I have. It all started when I told my ex-girlfriend I was going to be a PHILANTHROPIST and to my excited amazement she was quite OK with it. I though I had found the one girl every man wanted when a week or so later she found me with another woman and blew her top off {not to be confused with a blouse}. Anywho, I later checked and found that the word I was looking at was PHILANDERING, but apparently CLOSE didn’t quite cut it with her; she left with a broken heart and I left with a broken arm and some fractured ribs.

The fact that these words were polar opposites struck me. Of course, I spent a week recovering from a mild concussion and a lasting headache but it was quite an impacting experience.
It has removed all traces of trust for the English language, I mean what kind of a moron would pronounce the sound of F with a PH, where is the logic. Like math and religion, we have all accepted any and everything dictated by a bunch of morons to be absolutley true.

While pondering over the mystery of my FENOMINAL discovery {I refuse to obey laws set by morons} when suddenly E called out of the blue and said she wanted to spend the day with me. It wasn’t too agreeable, especially since the days are getting expensive. I told her the night were better {and cheaper too}, so we met for dinner and I told her how I was planning to start an account in the bank with my unspent afternoons.

As the dinner continued, E ordered a curious drink for herself and I asked her what she was drinking. She said “scotch and carrot juice” and I asked “why?” to which she replied “I get drunk but I see good”.

As the night continued we discussed many things and realized many truths; one of them being that if I were ever a woman I’d be a lesbian.

Have you ever experienced a sharp pain in your wrists when you're writing? You have?

THE END