Chairman of the board

We’ve all been forced to go to school some time or the other, until we figured how to sleep with your eyes wide open in math class.

However painful the academia was, the worst part was being called to the board.
Now, taking such things like your mind going blank or not knowing the answer as standard but ignorable constants we shall proceed to see how awful the board can really be.

The hardest thing about the board is the writing with your hand parallel to the board, not to mention the varying density of each piece of chalk that was guaranteed to break the moment you picked up the pace or realized how to solve the problem.

But that is just the beginning, you see the board is not just a rectangular piece of writing space; it is a large rectangle representing a battleground for alphabets, mathematical and geometrical operators to have an anarchic battle royal.

As you probably have noticed, the board is totally undefined and can be redefined easily with a deft twist of the hand with the duster. It is here that the battle is given grounds to begin. There are no lines, order for size or direction of line for the above mentioned operators causing each operator to assume its own identity and way to stand out as an individual in a thoroughly incorrect grand design.

This can be quite the problem if you are creative and like myself cannot draw a straight line with a ruler to save your life. You see at the blackboard you have already lost your consciousness and intellect and it is taking maximum effort on your part to just keep standing. Your hand realizes this and takes this chance to display its talent in the field of chaotic calligraphy.

At this point a psychological fermentation happens in your brain and causes you to imagine that there is something on the seat of your pants and the problem on the board seems comparatively insignificant compared to the endless laughter of your classmates on the imaginary ink on your backside.

You mumble something unintelligible and the teacher shoos you off to your seat and before sitting down you take a millisecond to see if anyone is laughing or smiling before sitting your non-ink smeared backside down on the chair.

You promise to give yourself grievous injury before going to the board ever again. In time you begin to realize that the board is haunted and causing an endless line of D’s and C’s in your grades. In the end you somehow manage to, after many fervent prayers to God, pass out of school and get away from the dreaded board.

Eventually, you start working as a Jr. prostitute in some ad agency and after getting used to being ravaged now and again life turns hunky dory…until one fateful day a big shot comes up, discusses ideas and then calls for a volunteer to write them all on the BOARD.