It’s Valentines Day again. The one-day of the year that makes you behave silly even though there is no pollen in the air.
The people who are in relationships begin to get all mushy, pretending that this really matters and the ones who are all alone are forced into believing that their life sucks because they aren’t with someone. Not to mention the crappy commercial value of the entire day. Its a bloody festival with overdosed sensations of roses and candy.
Ideally, instead of giving flowers that will eventually go to the dumps and the candy that will eventually go to her hips, what you should think of is buying a bouquet of condoms. Now that’s something that you can really use and it expresses what’s truly on your mind. And to top it off you just might get away with it and get lucky.
Of course, for those who don’t like to take the risk of announcing their intentions so implicitly there are always stock options and LIC policies. Nothing says, “I love you” more that shares and bonds. They represent commitment because you obviously are not going to leave until the bonds mature or the market goes through the roof. And the LIC is equivalent to getting engaged but on the other side it also says “I want you to die and make me rich”. But all in all it shows commitment.
Another interesting fact is that on this day, your stalker/heavy breather on the phone/ the creepy guy whose friends call you ‘bhabhi’, can declare their love for you without getting kicked in the gonads or a restraining order.
As parting advice let me tell you not to be honest on this day for it can get you in trouble. Many years ago, when I was young and with my love I told her “How I love thee, let me count the ways – missionary, reverse-missionary and of course my favourite – the upside-down chandelier.”
Don’t do it!
But do remember to get your oxygen masks on because Love is IN the air.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
hey, that reads interesting.......you are back in your original mould......
it took me 3 good reads of the kamasutra but still some of the positions (or ways as u put it) could not be found...is that sumthing u hav devised on ur own or were u typing with jus one hand while putting ur other hand to testing ur new found ways...is 84 not good enuf!!!...why masonary..the good ol' missionary is a less scary way to say 'I love u' not jus on V Day but on any given day...Cheers!
Faisal, be careful. Your optimistic attitude and your over enthusiasm may lead you to celebrate VD Day instead of V day.
Dont be a fool, protect your tool
Post a Comment